What if focus isn’t about willpower?

Most of us have been taught that focus is all about willpower—that if we just try harder, plan better, or sit still long enough, we’ll finally get things done. But what if that story misses the mark?

In this deeply personal and practical piece, Beaux Miebach—queer AuDHD strategist, certified ADHD Accountability Coach, and Tiimo’s Inclusion & Belonging Lead, invites us to rethink what focus really requires.

Drawing on lived experience and a career spent designing for access, Beaux shares how tools like Tiimo and FLOWN helped them turn executive dysfunction into a rhythm of self-trust, not self-doubt.”

The willpower lie

I’m AuDHD. My brain doesn’t run on consistency or linearity; it runs on rhythm, interest, and pattern recognition. I can hyperfocus on something for six hours without blinking, then forget to eat. I can procrastinate a task for two weeks, then complete it in 30 minutes the night before it’s due. None of this has ever been about laziness. It’s about how my brain moves through time, and how dopamine and sensory input shape my momentum.

But that’s not what I was taught.

Like a lot of us, I internalized the idea that I just needed to “try harder.” I thought if I could find the right ADHD planning tools or force myself to “push through,” I’d finally be productive. Spoiler: I mostly ended up overwhelmed, shame-spiraling, and still not doing the thing.

Focus isn’t a trait; it’s a relationship

I used to think focus was something you either had or didn’t. Now I see it more like a relationship: something you can build, nurture, and return to. It shifts depending on your needs, your environment, and your support systems.

Before I ever worked in the neurodivergent space, I was just trying to survive my own executive dysfunction. That’s when I found Tiimo, a visual planner that didn’t make me feel broken for needing things spelled out, slowed down, or color-coded. I used it long before I joined the team. It helped me see my days clearly, break down tasks without judgment, and meet myself where I was.

As I deepened my own understanding of neurodivergence and eventually began working in this space professionally, I started looking for not just planning tools but momentum. That’s how I came across Flown.

I knew about body doubling, but Flown reframed it entirely. It wasn’t clinical, cold, or productivity-obsessed. It was co-regulation. Structure without pressure. A space to be witnessed in the act of simply trying. I found it through my work at Tiimo, yes, but more honestly, I found it through burnout, stuckness, and the ongoing reality of trying to bridge the gap between planning and doing.

What helped me find my rhythm

Tiimo gave me the structure I didn’t know I needed: visual, flexible, and responsive to how my energy fluctuates. Instead of rigid lists or overwhelming calendars, Tiimo helped me externalize what was in my head. I could break tasks into small steps, organize them visually, and plan in ways that actually worked for my AuDHD brain.

It became one of my core neurodivergent-friendly tools: not just a planner but a way to reduce the friction between intention and action.

Then I started using Flown. Their live, guided sessions helped me ease into focus without feeling like I had to “perform.” Whether I showed up messy, tired, or completely unmotivated, Flown gave me a reason to begin. It gave me pacing. Warmth. A sense that I wasn’t alone in the trying.

Together, Tiimo and Flown helped me build a rhythm I could return to. One gave me structure; the other gave me presence.

What works isn’t always what’s preached

The world tells us focus means sitting still, working in silence, and pushing through distraction. But maybe the focus looks like this:

• Breaking to-dos into color-coded steps that feel doable

• Quietly showing up to a co-working session with your camera off

• Using timers, playlists, or movement to help regulate your energy

• Structuring your day visually instead of relying on memory

• Pairing body doubling with planning tools to build consistent habits

This is how staying focused with ADHD can actually look when shame is off the table and your tools meet you where you are.

Redefining what support looks like

For many of us, focus doesn’t happen through pressure; it happens through permission. Permission to plan in a nonlinear way. Permission to start small. Permission to stop fighting our brains and start working with them.

Tools like Tiimo and Flown didn’t “fix” my executive dysfunction. They helped me understand it. They gave me alternatives to hustle culture. They made focus feel less like a battle and more like a practice.

So, what if we stopped asking, “Why can’t I just focus?”

And started asking, “What helps me feel supported enough to start?”

What if we stopped seeing inconsistency as a failure and started seeing it as feedback?

Focus is not something we earn. It’s something we cultivate—with care, with community, and with tools designed for brains like ours.

Want to try it yourself?

💜 FLOWN Friends x Tiimo

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